He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
