I'm really into asian looking animals
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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