a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize