There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Randomize
