And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just forgot I was standing up.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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