and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
