Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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