Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
