I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Randomize