Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
