puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize