She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
God, I missed his penis.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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