So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
