Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
