Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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