My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
