how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
