so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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