If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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