This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
