that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
