Taylor Swift is so right about you.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
