It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
