wrigley field is MILF paradise
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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