Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
