i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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