how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
