peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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