If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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