When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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