Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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