In America we eat man semen.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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