It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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