i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
