At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
