i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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