is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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