She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
