It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
