I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Randomize
