john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
MIDGETS
????
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize