She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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