my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
