He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
He has the fingertips of a God
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