Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
