Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
