D3 body, D1 cock
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
