I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
