She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
