You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
