census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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