wat bout pragnant strippers??
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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