Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
