Quick, to the slutcave!
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
