where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
