Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
