he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
