Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
