I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
