would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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