yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You made out with two different species that night
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
