i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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