also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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