im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
