I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
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