Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
