Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
