If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
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