Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
