Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize