I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
