did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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